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without any complaint, not in helplessness but in understanding, it becomes suchness. Then you are no more
worried, then there is no problem -- because the problem was arising not because of the fact, but because
you couldn't accept it the way it was happening. You wanted it to follow you.
REMEMBER, life is not going to follow you, you have to follow life. Grudgingly, happily -- that's your
choice. If you follow grudgingly you will be in suffering. If you follow happily you become a Buddha, your
life becomes an ecstasy.
Buddha has also to die -- things won't change -- but he dies in a different way. He dies so happily, as if
there is no death. He simply disappears, because he says a thing which is born is going to die. Birth implies
death, so it is okay, nothing can be done about it.
You can be miserable and die. Then you miss the point, the beauty that death can give to you, the grace
that happens in the last moment, the illumination that happens when body and soul part. You will miss that
because you are so much worried, and you are so much clinging to the past and to the body that your eyes
ate closed. You cannot see what is happening because you cannot accept it, so you close your eyes, you
close your whole being. You die -- you will die many times, and you will go on missing the point of it.
Death is beautiful if you can accept, if you can open the door with a welcoming heart, a warm reception:
"yes, because if I am born I am to die. So the day has come, the circle becomes complete." You receive
death as a guest, a welcome guest, and the quality of the phenomenon changes immediately.
Suddenly you are deathless: the body is dying, you are not dying. You can see now: only the clothes are
dropping, not you; only the cover, the container, not the content. The consciousness remains in its
illumination -- more so because in life many were the covers on it, in death it is naked. And when
consciousness is in total nakedness it has a splendor of its own; it is the MOST beautiful thing in the world.
But for that an attitude of suchness has to be imbibed. When I say imbibed, I mean imbibed -- not just a
mental thought, not the philosophy of suchness, but your whole way of life becomes suchness. You even
don't think about it, it simply becomes natural.
You eat in suchness, you sleep in suchness, you breathe in suchness, you love in suchness, you weep in
suchness. It becomes your very style; you need not bother about it, you need not think about it, it is the way
you are. That is what I mean by the word 'imbibe'. You imbibe it, you digest it, it flows in your blood, it
goes deep in your bones, it reaches to the very beat of your heart. You accept.
Remember, the word 'accept' is not very good. It is loaded -- because of you, not because of the word --
because you accept only when you feel helpless. You accept grudgingly, you accept half heartedly. You
accept only when you cannot do anything, but deep down you still wish; you would have been happy if it
had been otherwise. You accept like a beggar, not like a king -- and the difference is great.
If the wife leaves or the husband leaves, finally you come to accept it. What can be done? You weep and
cry and many nights you brood and worry, and many nightmares around you and suffering... and then what
to do? Time heals, not understanding. Time -- and remember, time is needed only because you are not
understanding, otherwise INSTANT healing happens.
Time is needed because you are not understanding. So by and by -- six months, eight months, a year --
things become dim, in the memory they are lost, covered with much dust. And a gap comes of one year; by
and by you forget.
Still, sometimes the wound hurts. Sometimes a woman passes on the road and suddenly you remember.
Some similarity, the way she walks, and the wife is remembered -- and the wound. Then you fall in love
with someone, then more dust gathers, then you remember less. But even with a new woman, sometimes the
way she looks... and your wife. The way she sings in the bathroom... and the memory. And the wound is
there, green.
It hurts because you carry the past. You carry everything, that's why you are so much burdened. You
carry everything! You were a child; the child is still there, you are carrying it. You were a young man; the [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]