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that the matter of a student passing or jailing seemed overwhelmingly
irrelevant.)
The math homework pool had grown rather unwieldy, now standing at eleven
members, a number hich comprised more than a third of the class, Simon was
sure that more math was being done divvying up the homework in elevenths than
in oing the actual work itself, but Phil was irrepresible. He had divided the
eleven up into Group A and Group B, five each, with himself the odd man out.
Theoretically, this was designed to leave him no homework at all, but Bill
Mcintosh always made sure that a few questions were thrown Phil's way.
After school, Phil and Sam intended to make a concerted effort to locate and
correct the intermit-tent defect, since tonight was round two in the Sam and
Barbara epic. If he had car trouble tonight, Sam declared, he would push the
wreck off a cliff and shoot himself.
First, however, was his meeting with Querada, and Simon and Phil waited for
him and his agent in front of Phil's locker. Simon was in a sour mood, having
just found out that he had not been recruited for the Boston Tea Party, which
Nathan was recreating off Fire Island. This was particularly disturbing
because rumors were circulating that Omni was nearing completion. With only a
few shoots remaining, it was beginning to look as though he, Simon Irving,
father of Antiflux, son of Interflux, program chairman, lab partner of Johnny
Zull, and all-around nice guy, would be the only student to have had
absolutely no part in the video film.
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"Gee, it's too bad you didn't get picked," said Phil, examining his own
summons from Nathan.
"Hah!" Simon sneered. "You think I want to stand on a wooden boat in front of
a dumb camera and throw bags of tea into the water? Forget it. That sure isn't
my idea of a big weekend."
About five minutes later, Sam and T.C. came down the hall, glassy-eyed and
coughing.
"What's the word?" Simon asked.
"The word is I'm getting too old for this business," T.C. declared, ripping
off his tie and undoing his shirt halfway to his waist.
"Un-believable!" said Sam in an awed whisper.
"I've seen Querada do a lot of pretty strange things, but this was just beyond
anything! He started out sweet as pie, sat us down in nice comfortable chairs
 and very calmly he struck a match and set the drapes on fire! Then he said
he wasn't going to let us go for a fire extinguisher until I promised never to
bring another camel into his classroom!"
"Did you negotiate?" Phil asked.
"No," said T.C. "We ran. But he blocked the doorway."
"What happened?" Simon prompted.
"What happened?" Sam repeated. "What dp you think happened? I swore up and
down that never again would a picture with a camel in it violate the walls of
his sacred classroom!"
"We held a hurried consultation," T.C. amended.
"On the grounds that the room was filling up with
smoke, I recommended surrender, and my client
agreed."
"You're not kidding!" said Sam feelingly.
T.C. wasn't finished.
"I looked into Querada's eyes, and I believe, as sure as I'm standing here,
that he was prepared to burn down the office, himself, me, Sam, and the whole
school if we had tried to be stubborn."
"You can't call the bluff of a guy who's not bluffing!" Sam put in
breathlessly. "You read his book, Simon! I can almost picture the extra
chapter added onto the end, explaining how Querada went up in smoke with one
of his students, trying to make a point!"
"What about me?" asked T.C. angrily. "Agents I burn, too, you know!"
Phil looked pale. "And I told this guy his cologne was tacky?"
"Don't worry about it, Phil," said Simon sarcastically. "There was never any
real danger. You see, Sam and Querada understand each other perfectly. "
Sam shuddered. "We do now!"
Eleven
The Antiflux Worm Shop was opened without much fanfare on Lot 1346B on Monday
morning. In lieu of a brass band, Dave Roper played "We Shall Overcome" on the
bassoon as Simon cut the ribbon. Then Dino and Dina took their places as the
store's first clerks amidst the applause of about fifty students who had
turned out for the official opening. Dave, as the first shift's worm-digger,
should have been manning his shovel, but since there were no customers, he
used this opportunity to explain to disinterested observers how he had
constructed the gate in the Antiflux fence. The actual worm store itself was
unspectacular. It was located on the part of Lot 1346B that adjoined the
school, and consisted of a desk, a tent, and signs. The desk was Mr. Durham's,
freely donated since the English teacher had sworn off furniture. (It
interfered with communication, according to Buzz, and therefore impeded
psychic growth. He now convened all his classes cross-legged on the floor in a
room that was bare to the walls and free of "energy flow obstructors.") The
tent, which bore a sign over the entrance reading employees only, belonged to
Dave, and was there for bad weather and to give the employees somewhere to
relax at times of slow business. Simon could not seem to explain to Dave that
slow business, if any, was all they could expect, and that he was missing the
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point entirely in believing this to be the beginning of a worm empire. Dave
seemed so upset that no members of the public were there to take advantage of
his opening specials that Simon announced that he and his father did a lot of
night fishing, and that he needed a five-pack of worms right away. Dino,
however, would not hear of this, and refused to sell him anything less than a
twelve-pack, which, at two dollars was a much better buy than the five-pack at
one dollar. The fifty spectators were so inspired by the sight of the Antiflux
boss patronizing the worm shop that they all bought worms, too, and soon Dave
was out in the field digging up more stock, with several of his friends
watching him from a spot designated by a sign as WORM EXCAVATION SCENIC
OVERVIEW.
Simon had originally intended to spill his Dixie cupful of worms out in a
field somewhere, but Phil forbade this absolutely.
"It'll ruin your image if you're seen dumping those worms out! Everybody heard
your story about the night fishing. They'll lose confidence in your
leadership."
"What am I supposed to do?" Simon retorted. "Keep them?"
"Yes! None of these other people need worms any more than you do, and they're
not throwing them away. It's kind of like the unwritten law. Your problem is
you know nothing about psychology. Throw away those worms, and Antiflux is a
charity case. But if you keep them, we've got a winning proposition here. Just
put them in your locker or something. Then, if you're so keen on 'born free,'
you can throw them in your garden when you get home. Even a worm needs a
change of scenery now and then."
By this time, it was eleven-thirty, and Simon and Phil decided that class was
no longer an alternative and that they would take a long lunch period. The
worm store had already made $80, which was more than Simon had figured to pull
in over the store's entire lifespan.
"We should tell Sam about this," said Simon. "He'll get a real kick out of
it."
"I wouldn't be too sure of that," Phil replied skeptically. "You see, Sam's a
boyfriend now."
"Huh?"
"A boyfriend. It happened this weekend, around the same time as Barbara became
a girl friend. That's the way it works. They come in pairs."
"Yeah, but what's that got to do with him wanting to hear about the eighty
bucks?"
"Oh, boyfriends never concern themselves with matters as trivial as worm
stores. All their brain
cells are taken up with thinking about the people they're boyfriends of. It's
the same with girl friends, only their brain cells are all taken up with
making sure the boyfriends' brain cells are all taken up with the girl
friends."
Simon laughed. "Aw, come on, Phil. Don't tell me you're jealous."
"It's not jealousy; it's aggravation. Dig this: One date goes well, and [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]